Married life problems solution - Live happy married life

FAQs

• What are the factors creating problems in married life ?/ What are the Reasons for married life problems

  Many factors can be the cause of problems in married life for natives, and most of them can be avoided or resolved with the help of astrology. Let us discuss the different types of relationship problem and solutions: 

  Unintentional Marital Problems

  One of the most common reasons behind marriage problems stems from circumstantial or behavioural causes. Either member of the couple does not intentionally cause these issues. Instead, these occur due to some outsiders like family members, friends, etc. For this, some social and economic factors may lead them to act like this. Most of these reasons can be easily discovered before marriage through kundali matching of the couple. But what are these behavioural problems in married life that we are talking about here? Here are a few, which will help you understand what we mean:

  • Sexual compatibility

  • Financial issues

  • Entirely different values and beliefs of both

  • Unrealistic expectations

  • Trust issues or habits of lying or hiding things in one person

  • Childbirth  

  • Past traumatic incidents

  • Inferiority/superiority complex

  • Vast inequality in professional status.

  • Too much family interference or disrespecting each other's family.

  • The tendency of arguing, fighting

  • Ignoring one's partner

  These, and many more, are things that are inherent in a person or circumstantial. As a result, they do not even realise that it is destroying the core of their relationship. Now relevant here is that astrology has specific guidelines, following which, an expert astrologer can easily distinguish these troubles beforehand. So that these traits do not later cause problems in the married life of the natives. But how can our birth chart tell us about our future marital life issues? Let us take a look at these astrological indications which point out whether you will have a happy married life or not:

  • If the second house or its Lord is afflicted, then it indicates future family issues resulting in married life disputes. 

  • If the fourth house or its Lord is afflicted, that indicates a lack of mental peace for the native. 

  • If the Moon is afflicted in one's kundali, then that leads to anxiety or sadness in the native's life due to challenges. 

  • If the seventh house or its Lord is associated with the sixth, eighth, or twelfth house, then it can lead to married life disputes. 

  • If the Sun, Rahu, or Saturn are positioned in one's seventh house, they cause a lack of marital bliss in the lives of the natives. 

  • If the Lord of the second or seventh house is in retrograde motion, then it can lead to problems in married life and domestic discontent. 

  • If a debilitated planet is placed in the seventh house of a native's birth chart, that creates a lack of harmony in their life, this is especially true if the planet also has low Shadbala strength. 

  • If the Lord of the seventh house, Saptamesh, gets posited in the sixth house, the native is more likely to get a divorce or be separated from their spouse. 

  • If Venus and Saturn conjunct in the seventh house of a native's kundali, this indicates that their spouse may be abusive and short-tempered. 

  • If Venus and Saturn conjunct in the seventh house of a native's kundali, this makes them quarrelsome. Therefore, there are constant disputes in their married life. 

  • The presence of Mangal Dosha in either of the partners' birth chart, if not resolved through remedies, results in domestic violence and problems in married life. The Dosha can be discovered easily due to the presence of Mars in the first, second, fourth, seventh, eighth, and twelfth houses in a kundali. 

  • If the planets Mars, Saturn and Rahu are in conjunction somewhere related to the seventh house or the Saptamesh, then that can lead to problems in married life. 

  • If Venus is combust, i.e., it is in conjunction with the Sun, and both are at 9 degrees or closer, then that can cause a lack of passion, and it becomes harder for the couple to keep their marriage alive for a long time. 

  Intentional Marital Problems

  You may be surprised with the heading; however, it is true. Many people intentionally create marriage issues and sabotage their relationships. There is only one factor that is self-created and deliberate: infidelity. But then again, this too can easily be recognised from a native's birth chart before marriage. Let us discover how this factor can be identified from one's kundali:

  • If the planets Venus, Moon, or the Saptamesh are afflicted due to Rahu in one's birth chart, that creates possibilities of cheating in a person. The extent one would go in their infidelity will depend on the strength of these planetary yogas. 

  • If Jupiter is placed in the seventh house, or somewhere associated with it, and is in conjunction with or aspected by Rahu, then that too points towards the possibility of cheating in marriage. 

  • If an afflicted Mercury is in conjunction with the Moon, in a native's birth chart and Navamsa chart, it signifies a greedy mind. This leads to the person cheating on their partner. 

  • If Mercury is positioned in the fifth or ninth house in one's birth chart or Navamsa chart, with respect to the Moon, then that indicates a likelihood of infidelity. 

  • If Mars and Venus are in conjunction, uniquely positioned in the zodiac sign Aries, Gemini, Libra, or Scorpio, that also gives rise to an insatiable sexual drive. As a result, the chances of infidelity in marriage are high. 

  • If Mars and Venus are in conjunction in the Bharani Nakshatra, then that is another indication of cheating or infidelity. 

  • If the eighth house or the Ashtamesh (eighth house Lord) is in any way connected to the planetary combinations mentioned above, it increases the secrecy in such extramarital affairs. Consequently, detecting them and getting to the truth becomes much harder for the suffering partner.

• How astrology helps to solve married life problems ?Are there any remedies for problems in married life?

  Astrology offers love marriage problem solutions or other relationship problem solutions to a native easily. With the help of Vedic Jyotish, one can analyse the cause of the issues in the marital life of a person. The disputes are usually associated with reasons like infidelity, constant arguments, children, problems with in-laws, financial issues, depression, anxiety, or troubles caused by relatives or friends, health issues, communication gap, and so on. An expert astrologer can not only identify the reasons behind the marital problems but also offer proper solutions for these problems.

  The reasons for problems in married life can be either intentional or unintentional for a person. Since the former causes are deliberate, they are usually harder to overcome, as compared to the latter. Behavioural or circumstantial problems can generally be resolved through understanding and counselling. As for the self-created issues, they can only be resolved through self-discipline or with post-marital marriage counselling. However, in all scenarios, once the root of the married life issues is identified, proper remedies can be observed for the planetary combinations creating these troubles.

• Are there any solutions for my married life problems?

  Any relationship takes a lot of work to keep it healthy and thriving. Many good marriages often slip into boredom or troubles because one doesn't realise how much effort and work they take. It is just like if you stop investing in the house you are living in; it will fall into disrepair. 

  If your marriage also seems to be stuck in a rut, think back to the time when you first pursued your partner. It required all your commitment, hard work, and imagination. If winning their heart back then needed so much, then why is it surprising that neglect gives rise to marital disputes after you tied the knot? You know that your partner would have never married you if you took them for granted then. So, why would you risk your beautiful bond for trivial reasons? 

  Irrespective of whatever was done is past. Your present and future depend on your wish to restore your relationship to its old glory. Astrology suggests numerous such remedies and solutions for married life problems that you can observe and save your failing relation:

  Surround Yourselves With People In Healthy Relationships

  Sometimes, the negativity filling your bond may not originally emanate from you but maybe the vibes of your friends who do not think positively about the institution of marriage. Your second house signifies your friends and acquaintances. Therefore, observe remedies to strengthen this bhava so that you are surrounded by your well-wishers who value matrimony and support you in making yours work. Their presence will be vital in replenishing your bond. 

  Choose to Love

  Love is an emotion, but it is also a choice. When it is still new, it seems too easy, but your actual struggles begin when time passes and the things you found cute about your partner start irritating you. At this time, your choice indicates your maturity, and that is what allows a relationship to prosper as compared to letting your emotions rule unhindered. 

  Put Your Partner's Happiness Before Your Own

  When you put your spouse ahead of yourself in every aspect of life, it brings you both closer. Show them that you trust them wholeheartedly and it will nurture faith between you both, appreciate their every action and it will cultivate gratitude within your bond. The more love you bestow on them, the more affectionate you will find them for yourself, and these seemingly small steps will help you cherish a better and tender relationship. 

  Put Your Relationship Ahead Of Everything, Even Your Children

  It is an unfortunate truth of life, but with time our priorities change and unwittingly we put the person who should be the most important for us, second to almost everything. The promise that we make to them before and during the marriage is that they will always be our number 1 priority. Yet, we are soon full of excuses asking them to step aside for 'some time' for our work, our business, the kids, our ailing and ageing parents, even sports and outings. However, we need to realise that everything and everyone will soon leave us or we may outgrow them. The one true constant by our side is our spouse. And yes, you need to keep them above your children in the list of priorities, because even the kids are only delighted if their parents love each other the best. 

  Start Over From The Scratch

  Maybe your marriage has been stuck in a rut for too long. Perhaps you guys were focusing on your profession, your children, and your obligations so much that you did not realise that something important is slowly slipping away. So what now? You have suddenly realised that the passion and intimacy from the earlier days seem to be missing from your bond now, how do you bring back the magic? 

  Take a stroll down memory lane – ask your partner out on a date. Once again discuss things you used to talk about for hours, once again plan a beautiful future together. Just think about it – when was the last time you told your beloved that you loved them? When did you discuss something that wasn't a chore or a way of venting frustration, but just for the sake of talking? Maybe it's time you do all that now. Even if you do it as an obligation for the first few times, you will soon remember why you fell for them the first time, as you do that all over again. 

  Stop Taking Each Other For Granted

  As we said before, when was the last time you expressed gratitude to your partner for something they did? It need not be something life-saving that requires your appreciation. Say 'thank you' when they bring you your favourite drink in the middle of some taxing task. Celebrate random days, like Random Acts of Poetry Day and recite some romantic verses for your partner. Notice the small changes they make in themselves and complement them. Tell them how much something they do means to you. Do something for them out of the blue and surprise them, like complete one of their chores they hate for them. In short, do anything and everything you can to make them realise how much you appreciate them and your relationship.  

  Pray For Your Spouse

  We know it may seem too trivial, but let us be honest. When you began this marriage, you did so through promises, prayers, and the blessings of your dear ones. So now if you feeling the heat in the married life, go back & start praying for your life partner. Pray for your spouse's benefits, and this time ask God for something for them and not yourself. Ask the Lord to guide you in strengthening your bond, and to support you in your efforts. When you wholeheartedly ask for good things for your partner, you'll realise that you are once again filled with immense love for them, as you were in the early days. 

  Get Counselling

  If you think that the problems in your marriage are too many to resolve efficiently, get counselling. When you go for a post-marriage counselling session, the counsellor will help you realise where each of you went wrong and how to return from there. Moreover, if you can find a counsellor who is also an astrologer, that would be the cherry on the cake. An expert astrologer will be able to read your charts and discern through kundali matching where the problems lie. Sometimes, the issue seems to be one thing, but that is only the symptom and reaching the root of the problem is hard work. This can be easily solved through astrology. 

  Change The Patterns

  Change the habits that seem to bother your partner or appear to be a cause of contention between you both constantly. Try to find ways around it instead. Maybe you smoke, and your beloved is always fighting with you over this. Don't you think that quitting would be better for you, not only for their sake but also for your health? Or at the very least, take your habit outside and away from your spouse. Do you always come home angry from work? Make it a ritual to leave all your work-related frustrations outside the front door of your home. Take a minute to yourself and enter your house peacefully. 

  Visit an Astrologer

  Sometimes the issues in married life seem to be human-made but truly are the actions of some planetary combinations in our kundali. Visit a trustworthy astrologer who can read your kundali and discern which planet is responsible for the problems and suggest perfect remedies for the same.

• How to resolve the problems in married life?/ How Astrology helps resolving marriage problems?

  Every person who may be struggling with some problems in married life faces the same question: "How to resolve these married life issues ?" If you too are troubled with similar worries, you can try a few of the following simple remedies for married life issues:

  Keep Your Secrets

  Marriage is a bond between two people, and it should remain there. No matter what conditions, you should never share the things that occur between you and your spouse with any third person. When you take affairs outside your relationship, you allow others to enter it. As a result, there are too many cooks that spoil the stew. 

  This means that different people offer you suggestions which may not be right for your marriage, or they can take advantage of certain problems ongoing between you two. You need to avoid any such happenings by keeping your bond's trust and not sharing anything with a third person, not even your parents, if it is not essential. If any married life disputes occur between you, resolve them with your partner and no one else. 

  Communication Is The Key

  The answer to any and all problems in a relationship can be found out through communication. Even if you find it hard to express yourself, you should still strive to convey your feelings clearly to your partner on occasion. If you let your spouse assume things or allow a third person to run interference; otherwise, it is more likely that what you want to say and what they understand will be two very different things. 

  However, if you directly talk to your beloved, you can quickly present your perspective to them, not allowing any misunderstandings to fester. Moreover, if you express your love for them regularly and vocally, that will build a better sense of security for them in you and your relationship. 

  Take Care Of Their Interests

  Your spouse should be the most important person in your life, and their desires and interests should be your priority. Discern what is it that they love and delight in, and try to offer them the same. The more you take care of them and what they like, the more trust will build between you both, and you both will be more eager to forget and forgive the past and look towards the future. 

  Apologise

  One needs to remember that married life problems never occur due to only one person unless it is something like infidelity. Therefore, if you are disappointed with your partner over something, then it is also most likely that they too are unhappy with you. Whether knowingly or unwittingly, you may have hurt them in the past or broken some promises and then brushed it all aside. Maybe now is the time to stop, think, and ask forgiveness for all those times. Say sorry and ensure that your apology is heartfelt and sincere. 

  Keep Your Promises

  If you are making a promise, over even the smallest of things, then you are asking them to trust you. Thus, if you do not keep your word, then it equals breaking of this trust, and faith is the cornerstone of any relationship. Fulfil your promises, because doing so will help your partner have confidence in you, and this will strengthen your bond. 

  Give Them Space

  Yes, marriage is a holy union between two souls, and you two are closer to each other than anyone else. Despite that, a person will always have a past and a personal life that they may not want to share with someone else immediately. They may have some beautiful or bitter life experiences that they do not wish to part with. Do not force them to do so. Both of you should allow each other the freedom to do with their life as they want. 

  Similarly, if your partner seems to be keeping something from you, instead of taking this to your ego or doubting them, give them time and space. Tell them that you know they are not telling you something, but reassure them that you are not pressurising them into anything. If they wish to share the facts with you, they can; otherwise, they can keep it a secret. As long as this matter will not cause any issues in your life in the future, they need not reveal it if they don't want to. 

  Give Them Time

  Our busy schedule and hectic lifestyle rarely allow us the time to spend with our spouse. They may be the most important person in our life, yet our profession, family, kids, and so much more take precedence over them that we do not even realise. Therefore, try to keep a day entirely for your beloved. Maybe have a date night every week, or plan a romantic getaway every month. Whatever you do, ensure that you mark a few hours at least dedicated solely to your life partner. Relive those romantic moments from your past or create some new ones. Build a stronger bond this time and nurture it with these beautiful moments spent together. 

  Forgive Them

  You did your part by saying sorry to your partner, but now take the next step towards forgetting the past. Forgive your spouse for their role in the marriage disputes when they apologise. The act of forgiveness not only cleanses you from inside, helping you let go of all negativities but also helps fortify your bond. From now onwards, the small things that they do will not pinch you because you will not associate them with their past mistakes. 

  Do Not Pressurise Them

  As we've mentioned earlier, space is essential for every individual. Even though they are your spouse, there may still be some parts that they do not wish to share with you entirely. It can be a secret or a life experience, or maybe it is an activity they prefer only doing with someone else. Do not pressurise them to give these up, and instead use this time to do something you enjoy yourself. 

  Enjoy Each Moment

  A marriage occurs between two different individuals; therefore, a difference of opinion is likely to occur. You should never take these small things too seriously, and let them slide. If you two disagree on certain choices, then instead of quarrelling, find a middle ground. For example, if you both like a different type of movie and want to watch one together, instead of fighting on the choices, you can do one of the following: 

  1. Either try to find one that you both like, 

  2. Look for an entirely new genre none of you had tried earlier, or

  3. Play your choice of movie on your personal devices and simply sit together, sharing popcorn but not the picture. 

  Moreover, instead of letting such circumstances create a trace of bitterness between you both, turn them into sweet moments to remember forever. 

   Astrology always has answers to the problems of a native and can offer solutions for marital life disputes too. Once you have accepted that there are too many problems in your married life, and identified the root cause, you can observe the remedial measures of the troubling planet easily. Astrology states that the movement of planets influences human life. Their conjunctions, transits, and dashas define the significant events in our lives. When favourably placed in our birth charts, these planets offer promising results, while afflicted ones offer unfavourable outcomes. Thus, whenever we feel stuck and unable to come out of trouble, it is most likely that a planet is the cause of it and astrology, the solution. 

  Let us now take a look at what aspects of astrology will help you in resolving marital life problems:

  Impact of Venus in married life 

  Venus or Shukra signify love, relationships, and play a vital role in one's marriage and happiness. Therefore, to learn how one's married life will be, astrologers need to examine the planet's position, aspect, conjunctions, condition, transits, closeness to the Sun, and its afflictions. 

  Impact of Second House in married life

  The second house in one's kundali defines their ancestral wealth, possessions, and other materialistic values. It plays a significant role in various aspects of our marriage by signifying our material possessions and spiritual values. 

  Impact of Fourth House in marriage problems

  The fourth house signifies our home, family, sense of belonging, emotional security, the role in family dynamics, bonding, and instinctual development. It is essential in terms of marriage as it describes our relationships and helps define how our married life will be. Moreover, it is the stepping stone towards moksha, which a couple can gain together by growing spiritually together. 

  The houses in one's kundali are the playing fields of the planets, and the latter's movements in the former help create a map of our lives. With their help, one can determine where an individual is in their life's journey and how much longer they have to go on. Troubles are a part of life, and they are likely to occur in one's marriage as well. Not all of these lead to break-ups and divorce. When handled properly, they can open the doors to happiness and prosperity for a native. It all depends on the person who is facing these traumatising experiences and their attitude towards these problems. 

  An expert astrologer can help discover these issues that may enter a person's life, as well as assist them in overcoming the challenges. They can help them understand the causes by identifying which particular planet or house is creating problems as well as offer remedies to conquer them. For example, if Jupiter is the cause of the issues in a native's birth chart, then they can observe remedial measures associated with the planet.

• Who is the best person to offer solutions for married life issues ? Who is the best post marriage counsellor?

  The best person to offer solutions to marital life problems would be a marriage counsellor who is also an astrologer, and that person is Dr Vinay Bajrangi. A trustworthy Indian Vedic astrologer, Dr Bajrangi has worked with many couples for years and helped them overcome their differences and relationship problems. He does not ask you to perform expensive yagnas to gain money but works on the emotional and behavioural troubles bubbling between you through a mix of psychology and astrology. He is dedicated to the cause and wants you to have a happy married life once again. 

  Moreover, he is also a Karma corrector, which further helps you wash away your past sins through repentance and your efforts. In addition to this, he ensures that his method of counselling does not hurt anyone. He takes care that the mistakes of a person remain a secret between only the couple. The two of them will be the ones putting in efforts to form a happy married life once again. Dr Vinay Bajrangi has written several articles on these subjects, published in renowned newspapers like Hindustan Times, Times of India, Amar Ujala, as well as magazines like Outlook, India Today, and so on. 

  Click on post marriage counselling to read more about it.

• When do the in-laws become a cause of married life problems?

  "My mother-in-law always interferes in our personal matters."

  "My mother-in-law has ruined our married life."

  "My husband always listens to my mother-in-law; it appears that I have no place in taking any important decisions in my own life."

  These are some of the common issues that daughters-in-law face and come to us for solutions. Sometimes, even their husbands agree and unwillingly complain about their mothers' dominating behaviour which seemed to change substantially after their marriage. This is a troubling situation for most newly-married couples. The new member of the family, the daughter-in-law, is unable to gather enough courage to voice her opposition against the hardships her mother-in-law creates. On the other hand, her husband is embarrassed to speak against his own mother in front of his new wife and other family members. 

  As a result, they both silently continue bearing it all, and soon matters turn explosive, which leads to their married life disputes. These adverse effects will continue to grow, and sometimes things even reach the point of divorce due to the excessive meddling of the in-laws. In countries like ours, where the joint family system exists, new couples usually undergo much pain and agony, when otherwise they would have had a smooth life without the interference. Most marriage counsellors agree that such issues need to be discussed and dealt with care in time.

  Mothers of Son Creating Married Life Problems

  But why do mothers cause such obstructions in their own child's life? The truth is, most moms believe that their right on their son should be more than his new wife. After all, she gave birth to him, brought him up, and therefore, has a better understanding of his needs. She is sure that she can guide her child better, even after marriage. Moreover, some mothers have a dominating nature and force their children to live their life in a manner they decide. As a result, their son is also unable to speak up against them. In the end, the poor wife has to bear all the brunt, even if he does say something. 

  But a mother loves her children and sacrifices everything for them, then why would she create problems for them? The thing is that she is a mom and has a very decisive place in her child's life until they are old enough. However, once they are married, their spouse begins to take over many responsibilities, and the mother starts feeling displaced. This is especially true for the mothers of sons. Another source of contention between mothers and daughters-in-law is the fact that the latter is a new member of the family and doesn't understand their customs. This can lead to disputes between them as the daughter-in-law acts according to things that she knows, while the mother-in-law expects her to behave in a way she wants. In such a situation, the mother needs to convey the traditions of the family politely, that doesn't hurt the feelings of the daughter-in-law. In turn, the new wife should also be ready to learn new things from their mother-in-law.

  Mothers of Daughters Creating Married Life Disputes

  The exact opposite is true, as well. As the mothers of sons create troubles for their daughters-in-law, similarly, the mothers of daughters, too, try to intervene in their lives. This can lead to the reverse of the previous situation. Due to their own mom's interference, the new daughter-in-law does not wish to accept their mother-in-law and give them the place and respect of a mother. On the other hand, the mother-in-law is actually very accepting of her son's new wife. Now the conflicts occur from the wife's side as she tries to exert her rights over her husband and take her mother-in-law's place. A feeling of competition rises within the new wife. In such a situation, the woman needs to understand her responsibilities. She needs to try to adjust in the new home while trying to bring everyone together.

  Solution To Problems In Married Life Of Natives

  All these things need to be discussed, and mothers too need to know their limits. They should allow their children the freedom to act on their own and muddle through their newly-married lives themselves. Though they should guide their child when required, let them understand the world by themselves. One solution to this can be giving their children some space to begin their lives on their own. Mothers of sons should tactfully explain the traditions of their new home and allow them to learn things on their own. For example, if the new daughter is not adept in household chores, she should be given the time to learn them, and not ill-treated. 

  Mothers can be naturally possessive of their children. As a woman, the wife can also understand their mother-in-law's feelings if she tries to stand in her shoes. This will help her in understanding and handling the situation prudently. However, if things get serious, boundaries need to be set. Do not let matters reach a point of making the husband choose between his wife and mother. 

  Another thing that creates problems between new wives and in-laws is a matter of respect. The parents of the son wish to receive the same reverence from their daughter-in-law, which is not wrong either. The daughter-in-law should accept them as her own parents as well. Karma plays a vital role in all our lives. Newlywed women should remember that if they condemn their in-laws, they will soon lose respect in their own homes also. It is possible that their brother's wife may start disliking their presence in their home. This is their karma. They should let fate decide the punishment for any ill-deeds of their in-laws and simply continue to complete their responsibilities devotedly. 

  Know About Troubles From In-Laws Through Kundali

  All this is true, but can we know beforehand if there can be some troubles with our in-laws? Of course! As we have said repeatedly, astrology has the answer to all problems. One's birth chart and kundali matching can determine how one's relationship with their in-laws will be. The seventh house in one's natal chart signifies their spouse, and the fourth house from the seventh house, i.e., their tenth house defines their mother-in-law. The planets positioned in this house indicate the nature of the mother of your spouse. Similarly, one can discover the temperament of their father-in-law through their fourth house, while the ninth house can determine the disposition of one's brother-in-law and sister-in-law.

• How will my married life be?

  These are quite common questions that arise in every individual's life, and astrology holds the answer to all these queries. Your birth chart and an expert marriage astrologer are the only things one requires to get to these solutions. Let us quickly discuss the planets and houses which are responsible for answering all inquiries about one's marital life: 

  1. One's seventh house signifies marriage, relationships, and spouse. When inherently benefice planets, like Venus, Jupiter, Moon are positioned in this house, they point towards a happy married life. 

  2. On the flip side, the placement of planets like Mars, Saturn, Rahu, and Ketu here are considered malefic for marriage. 

  3. Planets like Rahu and Ketu weaken the seventh house, and as a result, problems in married life arise for such natives. 

  4. When Saturn gets placed there, it creates unnecessary turbulence within the couple through arguments and creating friction in their love. 

  5. Similarly, if these planets, Saturn, Rahu, Ketu, and Mars are aspecting the seventh house, that weakens the harmony between husband and wife. 

  Therefore, if any such malefic planets are afflicting your kundali, then one can perform remedial measures for them and remove all problems from married life.

• Which planet is responsible for marriage problems?

  Though Venus signifies marriage and happiness, there are several other planets which are responsible for different problems in your married life. Saturn is responsible for separation in a marriage, Mars causes violence and detachment, and Rahu-Ketu creates doubt and vagary in a married couple’s lives.